Tuesday 16 March 2010

Cheer leading for creative writers

Festive Spirit

Just placed a Christmas present under the tree. Had a sneaky look at the tag to see whether a shake, rattle and roll was necessary. I was very surprised and somewhat upset to read:

'Happy Christmas to the best sister in the whole world (and quite a nice brother-in-law).'

practical parenting

If you are the parent of a teenage girl, I have some fantastic news for you.

Good news - You will never have to purchase an air freshener for your car again. Ever.

I kindly gave my daughter and three girlfriends a lift yesterday. As each young passenger boarded, pleasant smells and odours of various perfumes and fragrances wafted and swirled around the car interior until it resembled a perfume counter at Boots.

By the end of the journey, as I jettisoned my precious cargo, the smell was overpowering and I started to feel positively nauseous and light headed. 15 minutes later, I found myself slumped unconscious over the steering wheel. Or rather, the police officer did. Thank goodness, I passed that breath test and the policeman also had a grown-up daughter, who has just graduated from Exeter University.

Despite opening all windows, the sun roof and leaving the boot open in a futile effort to defumigate the vehicle, this pleasant smell will persist for a period of six months, rendering the need for small, refillable air fresheners that attach to the air vent grille completely superfluous.

Bad news - the cost savings of the air freshener won't make up for the unspecified and intangible costs of owning a teenage daughter.

my alter ego

During the week I am a boring IT consultant.

However, at weekends, I transform into a massive, dance, trance, garage, hop-hip, mixmaster DJ, spinning vinyl, entertaining the masses at Glastonbury.

No wonder I'm so tired every Monday morning.

my worst nightmare

I was wrong. I sincerely apologise. That wasn't my worst nightmare at all.

This is truly my worst nightmare.

Surbiton Trophy

I was going to spend Saturday compiling very important guidelines for the formatting, style and content of comments but decided to go and watch the Ladies final and Men's semi-finals at the Surbiton Trophy instead.

I packed a lovely picnic (much to the envy of my neighbours), took a proper camera and enjoyed three matches in the sun:

  • Brenda Schultz McCarthy (36 years old, 6 foot tall) beat Ayumi Morita (17 years old, 5 foot tall) in three entertaining sets.
  • The eventual winner, Frenchman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, edged out the Australian 4th seed in a tight match featuring many impressive aces.
  • Dodged for cover as 6'10" Croatian, Ivo Karlovic, smashed his way past a bewildered American, Robbie Kendrick (whose lovely girlfriend was sitting next to me).