'Most Haunted' is a fantastic TV program hosted by Yvette Fielding, where a Liverpudlian psychic medium, Derek Acorah, visits haunted properties resurrecting the spirits of dear, dead departed souls.
The program is notable for absolutely superb acting by Acorah who can fulfill a variety of roles, effortlessly adopting the voice of tortured, Victorian ladies, in pitch darkness, without the aid of a script.
The supporting actors (Fielding and the camera crew) are also superb. They are simply wasted on Living TV. A career in Hollywood surely beckons.
I was fortunate enough to catch a 'Best of Most Haunted' over Christmas. It was simply the most riveting, compulsive, hilarious viewing.
The Mayor of Liverpool announced that there would a extraordinary 5 minute silence held across the city tomorrow at 12 noon.
A special religious service will be held at the Anglican Cathedral and the two remaining Beatles will reunite and record a special version of '(Please) Let It Be (disallowed)'.
Robbie Fowler will indicate the start and end of the silence by holding up five fingers. This is the number of European Cups that Robbie Fowler has watched Liverpool win on TV.
Guests of honour at the service will be Boris Johnson, Phil Neville and his father, Neville Neville.
Counselling will be available in job centres across Liverpool for those affected by the tragic events at Old Trafford on Sunday afternoon.
Elsewhere in Manchester, people will not be bleating, moaning and endlessly complaining about being taunted by Robbie Fowler holding up various numbers of fingers to the away section in their recent 3-1 defeat at the Council House.
If you give it, be prepared to take it.
Yesterday, I had a credit card transaction rejected which is always a little embarrassing. Thankfully, this was over the phone and not in a shop where embarrassed people would quickly avert their gaze, thinking 'Poor man, he's probably lost his job. Just look at his clothes'.
Normally, such rejections happen because the card number or expiry date was incorrectly transcribed and are quickly resolved - 'No I said 607
9 at the end'.
However, this wasn't the case on this occasion, so I called the credit card company to check my card hadn't been skimmed and someone was blowing my outrageously high credit limit (that I never asked for or wanted but was given to me by the credit card company, funnily enough) on holidays, fast cars, gambling, online retailers, weekend breaks in Prague and expensive gadgets.
Firstly, we have to dance the security dance where I am asked to confirm my full name, address, postcode, date of birth, my mother's maiden name, the names of all my tropical fish, favourite United player and my best album of all time.
Then I am asked for the fourth and seventh letters of my password 'without divulging the complete password'. For some reason, I find this incredibly difficult. I can type the password in seconds but, to satisfy this request, I always have to write the password out on paper and slowly identify the requested characters (or digits). Then I have to eat the paper which means I am unable to speak properly for 90 seconds.
So, let the straightforward enquiry begin. Hang on - wait a minute. The agent is sensing a cross-sell opportunity.
'Are you interested in transferring your balance to us, interest free for 6 months ?'
'No thanks. I only have one credit card'.
A schoolboy error. The agent has a scripted 'retort' ready for this very weak 'objection'.
'But the 6 months, interest free transfer needn't be from another credit card. You can transfer your ABC balance to your current account, interest free for 6 months'
'No. Thanks. I don't have a current account with ABC. Now about this rejected trans-'
Another fatal error. Again, I have said too much and the agent has another 'retort' ready.
'The current account doesn't have to held with ABC. Any bank account will do'
'No thanks. I do not want to use the 6 months interest free transfer offer for any credit card for any bank account now or at any time in the future.'
Finally. But wait. The agent (script) has something else to add.
'Is is all right to call you Norman today ?'
'Yes.'
Next time, I swear I will reply 'No. I really would prefer it if you called me Janet.'
And so, finally, to the rejected transaction. It transpires that a sophisticated, pattern matching computer program using the latest AI techniques detected that this transaction (Flowers for the wife) contravened the normal pattern of usage (No flowers for the wife. Ever.) and flagged it up as potentially suspect.
Alternatively, "Computer says 'No'."
The credit card company immediately tried to contact me on the phone to verify the validity of the transaction. However, as they were unable to reach me on the phone, they rejected the authorisation and placed a complete block on the credit card. I explained that I was probably on the phone at that time to the merchant desperately trying to explain why the transaction had been rejected.
So, everything was finally resolved, and the agent kindly unblocked the card, I thanked them for their vigilance in the ongoing fight against crime and everything was back to normal.
Well, almost everything. When I got home at night, I received a deeply disturbing telephone phone call from an AI automaton who announced
'This is a call from ABC credit cards about a transaction on your account today (normal female voice). MR NORMAN BRIGHTSIDE (abnormal, very scary, synthesized male robotic voice).
So, I duly input my date of birth in the wrong format twice and then get told off by a robot.
'Sorry - that is incorrect. Please call customer services for assistance'.
Mark Burgess once introduced 'Here Today' with these words.
I just read on
The Chameleons message board that Mancunian musician,
Bryan Glancy, died at the weekend. I didn't know Bryan Glancy. I never met Bryan Glancy. I just happened to see him supporting The Chameleons in Camden back in November 2002. Just very sad for his friends and family to think of another young person gone before his time.
Elsewhere, four young people are convicted of manslaughter (not murder) for kicking a man to
death in a random attack on London's South Bank.
A person isn't safe anywhere these days
Amazing news - whales have feelings and can understand humans.
'How a wave of human compassion will have comforted the whale in his final hours'
'He'd have known we're trying to help but it couldn't save him'
But what was really amusing about the bottlenose whale stranded in the River Thames story was that a friend recently returned from a holiday in Canada where he went whale watching. He was unlucky and saw absolutely nothing apart in a whole day apart from the bobbing waves. He then returns home to London to find one sitting on his doorstep.