Blog in isolation
Digging in a Habari sandpit

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Thursday 08 January 2009

There is a darkness deep in you

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George Best

My post about Patrick Gibson reminded me of another Irish genius who, sadly, is currently critcially ill in a London hospital.

A bell-boy was summoned to George Best's luxurious hotel room. He stared in amazement at the scene that greeted him. Empty, discarded bottles of champagne everywhere, a scantily clad Mary Stavin (Miss World) lying on the bed surrounded by ten pound notes.

'Tell me, Mr Best, just where did it all go wrong ?'

tweaking the blogger template

A kind lady called Sarah encountered my blog, was horrified by what she saw, and and proffered this suggestion for tweaking the standard blogger template to add the readability of long articles by adding the heading to the footer section.

Eventually, I managed to successfully apply the changes (she left a spurious space character to ensure you have a little work to do) so I hope you enjoy the changes as much as I do.

The curious case of Patrick Gibson

What would you do with 1 million GBP ? Would you buy a mansion, a yacht and a Ferrari, give up your job, go on holiday, donate it all to charity, buy your parents a new house, take over your local football club or get U2 to play at your son's birthday party ? Don't worry - I haven't succumbed to the lure of '1001 subjects to blog about' for people with vacuous brains. This was precisely the quandry facing Patrick Gibson in 2004 when he scooped the top prize of 1 million pounds on the ITV show 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'. Anyway, Patrick chose to buy the complete Iain Banks' books catalogue together with DVD's of Quentin Tarantino's films and every single episode of Channel 4's hilarious TV comedy 'Father Ted'. The reason was that these were to be Patrick's specialist subjects for BBC's Mastermind quiz. Don't laugh - Patrick was crowned Mastermind of Great Brtain on last night's enthralling show ! Even better, the narrow victory for the Irish software developer prevented an Australian gentleman hoisting the impressive, crystal glass fruit bowl aloft. Another crushing defeat for the Aussies - oh dear.

How to name your blog

So, you have set up the blog, got loads of interesting ideas for articles, robots and spiders are crawling everywhere, Adsense is configured and has already produced a massive return of 0.27USD and you are all set to go. One last problem, what are you actually going to call this blog ? What's in a name ? Well quite a lot actually. I usually like to read the title and extended description of any blogs I encounter. I think the title alone can tell you quite a lot about the author and the content. Unfortunately, I am totally devoid of imagination. That's one of the reasons I was never in a band. I simply would never be able to think up song and album titles let alone lyrics. The other reasons are that I can not play any musical instruments, sing or dance. My imaginative offering for the name of my blog is currently 'Andy C' for the title and 'Blog in Isolation' for the description as it seems quite apt. Originally, this blog started out in life hosted at blogger, under a large black cape of anonymity and was called 'RomanTotaleXVII' because no-one in the world knows what it means (the name is a character from a Fall song). 'Blog in Isolation' is a reference to a wonderful song 'Soul in Isolation' by the most underrated band in Manchester - The Chameleons. Other candidate titles considered were:

• Andy C's blog (boring but plenty of people use it!)
• The Wonderful And Frightening World... (The Fall)
• Open Up Your Eager Eyes (The Killers)
• Oracle Performance Tuning with Hit Ratio Harry (may yet appear as an article)
• View From A Hill (The Chameleons)
• Pedantry Begins At Home (oblique reference to The Smiths)
• In My Area (The Fall)
• Under The Covers with Norman Brightside (useful opening slide for technical presentations)
• Oracle Oldies Blog (featuring dictionary managed tablespaces, constant reorganisations, manual rollback segments and configuration of sort_area_[retained]_size)
• This is the way, step inside (Joy Division)
• The life and times of a (failed) dot com millionaire
• 77 Barton Road (where Ian Curtis took his life - too morbid)
• The NWRA (The North Will Rise Again - The Fall)

How to get ideas for your blog

Absolutely anything can be a suitable subject for a blog entry; a Website of interest, OpenSource software, breaking news, a personal anecdote, a witty comment from a colleague, politics, a joke, a holiday, Microsoft, music, gadgets, your teams latest victory, anything. Just because someone else (an esteeemed blogger or maybe even a professional journalist) has written an article on the same subject, don't necessarily let that put you off. Lots of people are searching blogs for a personal view and not that of a journalist. For example, if I am considering the purchase of a digital radio for my car, I would rather hear your views on the same make and model rather than read a two year old review in AutoExpress. As for technical content, while there might be reams of manuals, a wealth of text books and assorted wizards engaged in long running, complicated discussions with religous fervour that simply overwhelm you, remember that there will always be newcomers struggling in silence to insert their first row into their first table. So, if you have just written a squash ladder in PHP and mySQL, go ahead and share your knowledge. If you can't think of anything to say, say nothing. Don't be afraid of radio silence. Personally, I don't bother with sites offering solutions for writers block such as '99 subjects to blog about' as I am not really interested in your response to 'If you were an animal, what would you be and why ?' [ Although curiously enough I was asked exactly this question at interview once ! ] Think about your favourite Web sites and blogs and why they are of particular interest to you. If you love reading about long haired Persian cats, and you have a long haired Persian cat, then write about that as it's likely that this will appeal to a group of people with similar interests. Don't get discouraged because no-one comments on your blog or nominates you for 'Top 100 Blogs'. Think of all the blogs you have read in the last week with interesting, valuable content where you never had the common courtesy to take the time to say 'Thanks'. Finally, think carefully about any brilliant ideas that surface while under the influence. Your audience may enjoy it immensely but you might live to regret it.